The Truth of Castle Oblivion
by Xekon
Summary: Giftfic for Taliax. Includes slight Xarket abuse, pranks, and implied zombies.


It started off like any other day in Organization XIII; Demyx was playing his sitar too loud, Axel was being hounded by Roxas and Xion, Luxord was preparing for a poker game later that evening, and Larxene and Marluxia were secretly plotting against the Organization. The only difference was on boy named Xarket, the kid who was to be the chef while Xaldin and Zexion were on vacation.

Xarket was a dark skinned boy who Saix kidnapped from his school cafeteria when no one was watching. Demyx had done recon at the school for weeks in order to establish a decent replacement for the only Nobodies who seemed capable of so much as frying an egg without destroying the stove. Like most of Demyx's work, the recon was flawed. Instead of selecting a chef, he selected someone he thought would be fun to prank people with. This also was flawed observation.

"Come on, please?" Demyx begged, holding a can of spray paint in one hand and a camera in the other.

"Not a chance Fishboy!" Xarket didn't look up from the sandwich he was carefully constructing on the counter.

"Why not?" Demyx whined.

"Because _Axel's_ gonna be there."

"So? Come on, it'll be fun!"

"I'd sooner dye my hair pink, declare myself Marluxia, and dance with Larxene!" Said Nobodies entered the room.

"Jealous child, that rat's nest of yours could never pass for my hair,"

"Pulease, as if I'd ever so much as look at you!" Larxene zapped Xarket while Marluxia stole Xarket's freshly completed sandwich and exited the room.

"Now are you gonna help?"

"I have work to do, leave me alone."

"Fiiiine," Demyx huffed before leaving.

"Oy, Sandwich Boy!" Xigbar teleported upside down beside Xarket, "I need a sandwich."

"I'm getting to it."

"Well hurry up! I just got back from a mission you know!" Ten minutes and twice as many sandwiches later, Xigbar finally left. That was everyone, Xarket concluded, so he left for his room. No sooner had he cleared the kitchen doorway was he assaulted. Six sandwiches coated in hot mustard pelted him in the face. Sinister laughter echoed around him as his assailant warped away.

"Xarket, what is this mess?" Saix demanded, strolling briskly down the hall.

"Xigbar shot them at me," he grumbled.

"Hm, see to it this mess is cleaned before Lord Xemnas arrives."

"Surprise!" Sandwiches smacked softly into the back of Saix's head, one actually sticking to the top of it.

"Xigbar!" Saix whipped around and a ham and cheese sandwich squished into him, slowly sliding down his face. A flash from a camera radiated from the end of the hall. An excited Demyx ran away quickly, two Berserkers in hot pursuit. Xigbar dropped down in front of Saix, a can of spray-paint in hand.

"Smile big, Moony!" Xigbar sprayed Saix, who was soon thoroughly covered in rainbow neon spray paint. The camera, this time wielded by a water clone, flashed again. By the time Saix reopened his eyes, the pranksters had disappeared without a trace.

Xarket, clean this up immediately," Saix stormed off down the hall, being sprayed with silly string by Dancers from all sides. By the time Xarket had finished cleaning, he was exhausted. He trudged off down the hall, starving and defeated.

Xarket woke up the next morning to a welcome surprise. On is nightstand sat a basket full of apples and cookies with a note tied to it.

_Dear Xarket,_

_Thanks for helping us this week, I hope you like your present._

_~Xion_

Xarket was astounded by Xion's kindness. Hungrily, he made quick work of the gift. No sooner had he finished the last warm cookie did his door fly open. A displeased Saix walked briskly inside, shutting the door behind him.

"What did you think you were doing?" He growled

"What do you mean?"

"Those sandwiches, they were poisoned weren't they?"

"No!"

"Then why are Marluxia and Larxene, the only two fools to eat them, writhing in pain and turning green?"

"Saix!" Vexen broke in, "I've figured out what's wrong with numbers XI and XII."

"Then tell us."

"Hmph, disrespectful amateur. Well, it seems there was a rare strain of a virus in the meat called-"

"Hurry up!"

"Hmf, in short, they're transforming into zombies."

"Recall Zexion from his vacation. You, Zexion, Axel, Lexaeus, and our two patients shall go to Castle Oblivion until this issue is resolved. Leave immediately," Saix ignored Vexen's protests, instead turning to Xarket, "You're fired."

A dark corridor opened underneath the boy and swallowed him. He landed in his seat at his usual lunch table.

"Hey, Xarket," one of the girls there joked, "go make me a sandwich."


End file.
